"Combo Dinner" (P.o.t.D. 8/15/15, no rev)

Barbacoa, guisada, and avocado -
A trifecta to spawn many tacos -
Is complemented by rice and refried beans
To create a tasty dinner
Settling well within my gut...
"Ah! Arrandas! Awesome as always!"

"To Be..." (P.o.t.D. 8/3/15, no rev)

Be open.
Be kind.
Be loving.

Be free...

From suffering,
From "blinds",
From attachments...

Be at One,
With All around.

Be at peace -
With mind sans sound.

Breathe.

Be.

"Cooking Chocolate Oatmeal" (P.o.t.D. 7/31/15, rev ???)

Just toss them off my brain,
Like so many fractured fragments from
The simmering coffee pot shattered...

Strange ideas percolate,
But now lay splattered
Across some cheap tile knock-off.

How does one arrange the ideas,
When the yarn is unravelling
And all the tender nerves are frayed
By long days at work, slaving away?

Am I in the quaint kitchen,
Cooking up ideas and schemes,
"Mincing words", if you will?

Stirring the sauce,
Sprinkling spices in,
I try to concoct a good story...

...but it feels like a recipe for disaster,
Like the wrong memories
Are getting jammed together,
Leaving me with a pickle of a poem -
Overcooked by leaning too heavily
On an extended meal metaphor.

"How We Roll.." (P.o.t.D. 6/25/15, no rev)

Sticky rice, rolled up tight
Upon a crispy, salty sheet of nori,
Snuggling with cucumbers, carrots,
Halibut perhaps - or other fish:
Ingested with the zesty tang of wasabi!

"Two minutes, Twice" (P.o.t.D. 6/23/15, no rev)

Two minutes: Go!
How fast can I type?
How fast can I think?

Of course, my critics
Will tear this idea apart -
Saying where's the flow of ideas..
Silly rule you're using..
and so on..

I do not know what
Will come from the race,
But an attempt to stream,
To bring the thoughts

Talking about what i want to talk about

...and timer rings.

So.. update my phone app,
For the next quest,
And I start the timer again.

Time is trickling past,
Sometimes roaring like rapids -
Eating away at the thread
Woven for my path
By the Three Fates

Time is one of my
Most valuable assets -
If I give you my time,
My attention,
my devotion..

then - damn. two minutes gone again.

"Times Unjust" (P.o.t.D. 6/12/16, rev 6/12/17)

Life has lost its luster,
Dulled by bickering fights,
Choosing from a menu
Chock full of bad diets.

Love tries finding its roots,
Cracking my stone-dead heart...
Bile rises instead
Choking on rocks apart...

This is a feeble piece -
Written, mindless, above -
Attempting to capture:
'Despair!' 'Ennui!' '...enough...'

Please, forgive, if you will -
Revile, if you must -
Poems written in anger
In these sad times unjust.

"Dune Reference?" (P.o.t.D. 4/30/15, no rev)

Fear - the mind killer -
Leads us to ill-thought actions
With later regrets.

"It rained..." (P.o.t.D. 3/5/17)

It rained...

It rained tears of angels,
Crying at how we live our lives.

It rained sweat of many birds
Tring to fly away,
And escape narrowly with their lives.

It rained a nasty potluck of chemicals
Pumped without conscience, into our skies -
Slowly eating away at beauty outside,
And leaving a few afraid to live healthy lives.

I tell you, "It rained...",
And most of us
Skipped along, blind to the pain.

"Matrix Mash-up?" (P.o.t.D. 2/24/16 rev ???)

As I watch the map
Twirl and Swirl
Behind the forecaster,

A memory becomes dislodged
From decade distant days
Spent in hospitals of state:

"How much sunlight will we see?"
Like it's metered out for me,
And there's not enough energy

To fuel my madness,
To keep up the charade...
A la "The Truman Show"...

Are they trying to intrude
In my chaotic little world,
Spinning 24/7, with threads unfurled?

I wonder what is real,
What is fancy,
What lies behind the scene?

Sometimes, the surreal
Becomes so, so real,
That my mind does reel

And I find myself asking,
As events become taxing,
"Did I ever come out of the coma?"

"Silver Pins?" (pub 2/7/16, rev 2/7/17)

Our minds became hollow, empty vessels,
Drained of all sparks, with brains swept up in news
Faked by the paparazzi media...

Try as I may, my senses sucked mine dry
Through flimsy skin, plugged up ears, clamped shut eyes.
Our hearts evacuated long before -
Leaving behind travesties of lives sore.

My hope - it still exists - is that one day,
Our vacant existence will replenish
With love's fires, that we'll find silver pins
Hidden under all the straw mens' toothpicks.

Let us slay charming vampires and werewolves -
Diseases poisoning society,
Plucking my mind from day's vitality...

"The Giving Tree" (P.o.t.D. 2/4/16 rev 2/4/17)

Perhaps the birch bark's a delicious treat
For buzzing, gnawing, insatiable
Insects, stripping it bare of its black bark.

We leave it to creak in the winter cold,
Bereft of fall leaves - 'White now, bark no more.'

"When it creaks, does it, like a treant, speak,
'Give unto me shelter from this harsh world?'"

I walk on, to face chill winter's harsh winds;
Leaving the birch rooted in its sorrow,
"Perhaps its bark will grow back, tomorrow?"

I shiver, glad that the tree stays rooted,
"What chaos and turmoil could it create,
Branches swinging, scratching, at all us beasts?"

"Food for Thought" (was "Unfinished Media Meanderings?" (P.o.t.D. 2/1/16))

Like a steadfast woodpecker
Meticulously digging at my brain,
The clock beats out its seconds
In its Chinese Water Torture refrain...

'Do I want to write angry words,
Railing at Flint's dirty water,
Or suicidal open mics,
Or psychopaths for President?'

Just a slice of the "news",
Eating Facebook pizza -
Quite a bit unhealthy
If gorged on each minute,
Of each day, all these years;
Leading to drying up
Of desensitized tears...

Drifting, I focus on the color orange.
I wonder, "Will my Longhorn spirit show?
Will I wander down a mental alley
With a decadent, sweet, innocent fruit -
Rolling beside me, and yet unaware
That soon, it will be skinned and devoured?"
Most of the adjectives I am drawn to
Seem to be visual - colors or fruits...

Or hard to make rhymes with...

How I thirst for metaphors,
Twists of words deep in my brain;
Awaiting the woodpecker,
Or possibly Pink Floyd's worms...

I want to listen to the bards,
Instead of the clock-knocking birds,
Or the silence of stores so bare.

So, I plug in my phone
And blast the tunes so loud,
Hoping musical noise
Will find a buried home
That attention allows
To become my mind's toys.

"Time Marches On" (P.o.t.D. 1/29/15 rev 1/29/17)

Time marches on, the second hand spinning -
Each moment gone, feels like I'm not winning...

Half-finished sentences are my symptoms
Of a disease that plagues all my rhythyms...

I'd like to write poems, play games, and relax!
Yet no cash crushes me, weight 'pon my back...

When worried where I shall find my next meal,
Retiring becomes a much smaller deal...

...I do not feel like finishing these lines,
Or sticking to meters and rhymes,
Or staying coupled in ideas and thoughts:

Playing thru poems is a hindrance, a block,
That prevents my mind's healthier unlock.

I still make feeble attempts to play within the lines,
But, it's so hard to keep at it...

Life is full of futile frustrations;
I question the help I've tapped into.
Memories of yesterday's poems,
Talking of failed expectations...

You'd think that I'm in some mid-life crisis;
I doubt I've lived even a smidgeon of living.
This feels like a Goth's dramatic whine,
"Drink deep the troubles in my blood!"

Honestly, as long as I'm not thinking
About how my life's events are linking,
Then I am fairly happy...
I do still play fun games, I do still write,
And I'm slowly, oh so slowly, trying to set my life right.

I wish that the seconds didn't tick so,
That life's candle didn't burn our wicks, lo...

...and the clock marches on, with its tickings,
and life proceeds, bringing me, my lickings.

"Expectations" (P.o.t.D. 1/28/15 rev 1/28/17)

If I could be a free spirit,
Living in the moment
From moment to moment,
With no chains linking
My past deeds to future expectations,

THEN...
Then...
then...
I live!
...without worries, in each
Moment lived so free.

Yet, Chains do bind!
The past makes promises
And people predict
"Great Things" to come,
Because I did so well
At my challenges undone.

In school, I was a scholar
Who excelled,
Who bubbled to the top.
I did quite well
In science and math.

Was this why they voted me
"Most Likely to Succeed"?

Twenty-five years later,
I'm no rocket scientist
Nor a genius programmer.

Instead, I sling beer and smokes,
Earning a paltry eight dollars per hour...

My inner voice trilly chides me:
"Such a disappointment..."

On another set of scales,
I'm coming up short:
No marriage, no kids, no house, no car,
NO...
No...
no...
"American Dream"
Perpetuated by Big Media
Over and over and over again.

...and paranoia would have me believe,
That I'm my friends' disappointment, too.

Fed by these futile frustrations,
I want to turn my back
On our measures of success.

I hear whispers in my ear,
When I lay down, troubled:
"Give it all up,
Find the Tao,
BE...
Be...
be...
One, like the monks.
A humble life is the best life."

"Recollecting the Wreck" (P.o.t.D. 1/26/15 rev 1/28/17)

Do I remember the car wreck?

"Sadly, no..."
"Gladly, no!"

Shawn and I had troubles with the seatbelts,
In that old Pinto
That was his teenage car.

That morning, it was foggy out.
We were running late for school.
I was still half-asleep,
Nodding off in the passenger seat.

As he plowed thru the pea soup,
Passing on a curve,
A Cadillac came at us, head-on!
Shawn tried well to swerve
Alas, there was still a crash...

Shawn's right leg broke three times,
And would never grow longer.
He was in a cast for six months,
And he needs shoe mods, today.

My forehead hit the windshield,
So my six month ordeal was
Digging glass shards out, as they resurfaced.

Still, I don't remember the crash -
I barely remember the E.R., hours later...

The wreck has faded into the fog...

"Mincing words" (P.o.t.D. 1/23/15 rev 1/23/17)

I find myself mincing words:

Can I get a bowl of PHO using xenophobia...?
Do your shoulders SAG when we disagree?
IF we RENT the old rules, are we still different?
Will it BE very LONG to belong?
What will be ATE, using this list of statements?

Or can we find some LIP through liposuction...?
Does this MAN have a clue on how to be romantic?
Maybe, perchance, in BED, if I'm obedient...
What HARM is ON us, if we're in perfect harmony?
Will I find MOM in the momentous?

My challenge to you, dear reader,
Is to mix all the pieces together
And add some dashing bits of your own,
To see what you might create...
I offer to you, these ingredients:

Pho, Sag, Rent, Be, Long, Ate,
Lip, Man, Bed, Harm, On, Mom...

"Times Unjust" (P.o.t.D. 6/12/16)

Life has lost its luster,
Dulled by bickering and fighting,
And having to choose
From a menu chock full of bad diets.

Love tries to find root,
Cracking a stone-dead heart,
Raising bile when threatened
By senseless attacks upon the cherished.

This is but an impromptu piece,
Written on the cuff,
Attempting to capture
The despair, the ennui, the lonely place..?

So, forgive, if you will,
Or revile, if you must,
This feeble spark of anger
In the face of times unjust.

"Silver Pins?" (pub 2/7/16)

My mind's but an empty vessel,
Drained of all life
By the paparazzi media circus.

As it was sucked dry
Through my clamped shut eyes and ears,
My heart was evacuated long before -
Allowing this travesty of modern life.

My hope,
If it still exists,
Is that one day,
This hollow existence
Will be replenished
By love's fire
Finding silver pins
Hidden under all the toothpicks.

Let us slay vampires and werewolves
Who are the diseases
Poisoning society's vitality...

"isolated in AA" (P.o.t.D. 2/5/16)

just string the words together,
and wonder if any thoughts appear...

isolated at an AA meeting,
despite a couple of warm greetings -
always wanting to be in the spotlight,
the center of attention:
the guy who makes everyone laugh,
or who says something so profound.

hooey on that...
just trying to pump the chest out,
without speaking from the heart...
without vulnerability and weakness,
although it could be weakness
to cloak one's self in pretty words,
devoid of real meaning, real experience.

great chasm, great gulf, great void
between them and me -
Lack of sincerity.

i feel a little charred,
because I asked for help,
and i got no response.
"For God's sake,
It was only a chili cookoff!"

...or, floundering, flopping in the deep,
wishing for some relief,
but the steps sit unworked,
the phone sits silent,
and the never-ending quest for more
packs my schedule full of games and work -
no room left to breathe,
to sort out the medicine madness,
the deceptively cheap insurance
that does not provide any takers -
damn those doctors and their high fees!

i looked at the white board,
and i saw that i hadn't been to a meeting,
all this week, despite rules that I attend three.
so i went to the late-night tonight,
and i plan on an early one tomorrow,
capped by a speaker in the evening...
part of me wonders if i'll follow through.
I used to go religiously to 1313,
but, lately...?
it seems that fears of missing work
have been keeping me away,
or, so I claim.
it could also be...
that I don't feel a part of, any more -
ever since I quit smoking cigarettes,
or started sporting grey hair,
or just watching my mind fall apart...

why do i hide in this cave?
why do i settle
for so little,
when great things could be me?

the thoughts are out there, now...
mostly my low-lying anger at AA -
How I feel so separate, almost betrayed...
wondering if that's, for me, a valid place.

On a bright note,
I really do enjoy my gaming nights -
So much more interaction...

I'm not so fond of work nights,
slinging beer and cigarettes
to people who don't realize,
"The party's over, 'lest you never grow old..."
I suspect, one day,
I'll see some of these customers
In future AA meetings...
If I'm still going, that is....

So, I don't feel alone, or lonely,
as i do have happy places to go to;
but i do feel isolated and unaccepted -
like my boat has drifted to uncharted waters,
away from the fleet

maybe i'm just hungry,
as I fast tonight,
for the doctor's tests, tomorrow.
I've noticed how twisted off I become,
when i've not had food for a bit.

"Birch Tree" (P.o.t.D. 2/4/16)

Is it a birch tree
That sports a white trunk?
Looking at it,
I suspect the bark
Is a delectable treat
For some insatiable insect,
Stripping the tree bare -
Leaving it to shiver and creak
In the winter cold,
Befeft of leaves and bark more.

Then I wonder,
"When it creaks,
Does it, like a treant, speak,
Begging to follow me home
To find some shelter
From this harsh world?"

Should we be glad
That trees stay rooted?
Else, what chaos could they create
With branches swinging and scratching
At all these animals?

Losing steam...
I still ponder
On white trunks...