"broken pieces" (P.o.t.D. 12/25/16)

Broken pieces
Cloistered away
(Like monks?)
Deep inside
A rocky stone-face...

causing wrinkles to appear with their weight
causing the eyes to scan, scan, scan the ground
as i shuffle my way, ever walking, everywhere
everywhere around this "beautiful town"

the pieces come out, these nights,
as i try to write and write -
"Here! Let me show you a bit of my frights!"

when i'm around friends and family,
i feel much less of the pieces' pains,
only to be kept awake at night,
as they surface when i'm alone again.

it's so easy to delude myself,
to get sucked in -
thinking i'm a string of failures,
or disease wins...

but i'm not really broken,
i am not simply bipolar...
i am gifted and so much more.
I hope these broken pieces will soften
and my mind will be at ease,
I think I can win this war...

The hunger devours,
Like looking upon
Hastur unmasked...

“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”
― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due.”

― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 4: Season of Mists

"Weasels?" (P.o.t.D. 12/24/16)

Popping heads off of her Barbies
Like champagne corks on New Year's Eve,
She chortled softly to herself,
"Who are you trying to deceive?
We can't have thin bodies like these!"
...showing immeasurable wealth...

"scary changes" (P.o.t.D. 12/23/16)

Change is a challenge:

To give up old behaviors
And trudge forth through the unknown...

Let's walk away,
Slodging through valleys of fear,
leaving this humble hilltop
to try to climb mountains

we don't want to give up
simple, some times flawed
strategies of survival,
when the new paths
could be a stumble
as well as a soar...

I didn't stop drinking,
until it stopped working.

I couldn't stop smoking
until i got free
of its physical addiction barbs:
"I'll just have one more cigarette..."

some fear of failure, too -
"why apply to jobs,
just to get rejection letters?"

ah, yes... fear of failure -
the procrastinator's nightmare,
for i want to perfect
on the first attempt, every time...

true story - i attempted 10 writing components,
all failed or dropped -
i thought because of writer's block...
but perhaps because I was out of my depth -
"you see? because I wrote reams,
when the writing was tied to teaching
and i had been a tutor for seven years..."

this present focus on careers -
as i look at a bird's nest of jobs,
mostly entry-level clerical and retail...
because they're familiar

No baring of my breast
in forays of romance -
why rish the rejection, the possible unease?
the fear of my mind obsessing?
yet, i grow bitter
as ladies pass me by...

i write, and i write,
and some times face ridicule
because i'm being too vulnerable, too open
"yes, that could chase folks away,
thinking no secret is safe with me.."

i near the end
of this self-imposed challenge
to write every day...
A January more,
And then to sift the wheat from the chaffe,
to edit ruthlessly,
to assemble what I can

i'm tired,
yet, try as I may,
i can't sleep,
and my sane bits
scream in terror,
""No! Not that rabbit hole of chaos!"

I'm still wondering
how firm the job offer is,
that i received today...
moreover...
will i have to get a car, too?
do i want to make those changes?





what does "change" evoke in my mind, good and bad?
- three weeks gone by, unattended

So, I'm not working Christmas Eve or Christmas night. I currently have no firm plans to go anywhere formal; and yet I'd like to get out of my house.
Does anyone want to adopt me? I can bring some board and/or card games...
-------------------------------------------------
I was unable to get the time or ticket fares set aside to visit my family (in Dallas, Kansas, California, and a couple of other places around the world) for either Christmas or NYE, this year. Kind of bummed about that...

"Forget me not?" (P.o.t.D. 12/22/16)

I woke up, screaming,
"I don't want to die alone!"
Shaken, I turned
To hug my wife...

And I only saw her ashes,
Long perched there,
Upon her dressing table...

No sleep would return to me,
Upon that cold unfeeling night,
As I wondered
Why my children no longer called...

"Jar-head" (P.o.t.D. 12/21/16)

"If you let me die,
Then the stars crumble to dust..."
...so preached an ill brain...

"Puppet" (P.o.t.D. 12/20/16)

"Just play along, now,
Act as the Party tells you...
For assassins wait..."

"Ode to Wino" (P.o.t.D. 12/19/16)

Stripes, to hide in grass;
White paws that stalk human feet -
Cat's taken control?

Attempted meditation stream (P.o.t.D. 12/18/16)

searching for a beginning,
my mind drifts over
blinking icons... blinking lights...
returns to center with chants of Om.

thinking about breaking down
in Smithville
hours at the video store with Shawn
rescued by Donna and Mom
commenting all the way to Dallas
about Christmas lights guiding the sleigh
even though some were police

thinking about sundays
falling away from dharma punx
permanent illusion in my mind
that they'll still be there
"if my orbit returns me in kind"

politics again, rears up
seeing my eyes
turned away, so blind
assuming there's no oppression
to give me false peace of mind

a whole lot of fear
and unchained, galloping anxiety -

will they gather up the scientists
who try to warn them
against their doomsday energy plans?

will they decimate the protesters -
Standing Rock water cannons times a million?

will the women be corralled
into great, big breeding pens
forced to have babies
or bindings upon their feet?

Yeah, it may be overblown
and quite a bit irrational -
but, then, these new leaders are scary,
showing themselves to be quite irrational, too...

if my selfish, self-centered interests,
I think that I might survive,
So, Alfred E. Neuman,
"What? Me worry?"

but again - self-deception...
I am one of the liberals,
I am one of the protestors,
I am clinically insane...
and, for that, I may be on the first trains?

return to the Om,
chanting through my headset...
Did that clear my mind?
Can I let those thoughts drift by,
Like the clouds, hanging in the sky?

Not sure if journalling is fast enough
To capture ...

bell.

"Anxiety Reigns" (P.o.t.D.12/17/16)

The impulses have grown strong,
Blurting out strange turns of phrase
With aggressive tones
And lack of restraint...

Modern day fight or flight, I guess -
When staring at the abyss around me,
Afraid that my world will fall apart...

I laugh a frightened laugh,
Hoping the bare teeth

Scares away the mists, the beasts...

"Fearing Monday" (P.o.t.D. 12/16/16)

Stubborn electors
Gonna vote like they been told,
"Ain't 'Merica Great?!"

"Chaos stream" (P.o.t.D. 12/15/16)

can i control chaos?
capture collisions and energy loss,
just trying to...stumble...
time heating up
cracks across my eyes
mind falters
yet sleep? halted?
hell's bells! let's dart
at a dictionary
just to make random lines
but, no, my mind screams
for order, for rules, for laws!
and yet, i see trump -
not enough respect to capitalize -
sewing seeds of destruction
throughout his puppet play...
aigh! no will in me,
to call him out;
as the cloak of defeat
smothers and suffocates...
and i feel we all see
wide-grinning Death
with his scythe of Fear -
the mind-killer, remember? -
cutting large swaths across the land
and leaving me
wailing and gnashing
and bemoaning
the end of America.

but, maybe, I'm just unreasonably afraid?

Time, time, time...
So easy to lose,
So hard to recover.

"Tea" (P.o.t.D. 12/14/160

What future lies before me,
Patterns revealed by leaves of tea?

Why, now I realize, my cup is empty -
So, I must get another, you see

To drink deep of brews a plenty
And let my brain swim in ecstacy...

Caffeine, peppermint, hibiscus - all agree
That leaves are best found,
Simmering in water,
And not attached to a tree.

P.o.t.D. 12/13/16

Is my mind empty?
Or are the thoughts all tangled
Like old spaghetti?

P.o.t.D. 12/12/16

Christians are concerned:
"Christmas is under attack!"
Yet, Muslim hate spreads...

"Before the Melt..." (P.o.t.D. 12/11/16)

Blizzard in my brain:
So many thoughts colliding -
Buried by the drifts...

"speak the speech..." (P.o.t.D. 12/10/16)

will the words
stick in my throat,
caught up in anxieties
about how i look in societies?

or does my brain soar above
those turns of phrases,
hoping to scatter them about
with my manic phases?

so many questions,
so much that i doubt,
all leave me speechless,
while deep inside
I just need to shout..

"Freedom to Remain Silent" (P.o.t.D. 12/9/16)

Afraid of currents -
The whirlwinds of your passions
Blowing me down wells...

P.o.t.D. 12/8/16

Afraid to speak up,
Because they bully others
In daily flame wars.

"Create-Your-Own..." (P.o.t.D. 12/7/16)

Cracks appear in reality -
Synchrocity run rampant
Like a waistcoated rabbit...

You probably catch the Alice ref,
Like so many other meme-drops
Pulled from the pop fabric...

How do I uncover the real,
The truths like diamonds in the sky,
Hiding under so many layers of stories
Shoved upon our experience,
Coloring our glasses
And leaving us gasping for originality?

Is it an original twist,
If the story's taken out of context
Or if it happens to a new character?

Or is everything just a grand cosplay,
Where we're doomed to repeat history
Because we feel comfortable
Living former lives
Like the domesticated housewife
Or the workaholic father?

Some people get so wrapped up
In the soap operas and novellas...
Others just love the guns and violence...
And I probably quite favor the absurd.

Now, I just feel like I'm grinding again,
Writing because I don't want to sleep -
It's becoming harder
To distinguish
Dreams
From reality
Or nightmares.

This feeling in my gut that I am self-centered to the extreme... just blindly plowing through life without recognition of others.
So, forgive me, if I have not returned emails or calls, or sent surprise texts asking how you are. Perhaps 2017 will be an improvement for the better?
Life seems so filled with toil and tasks...

P.o.t.D. 12/6/16

Am I a shadow?
Draining the life out of all,
Like an undead shade?

Or a vampire..?
Born from sickness, sapping strength,
Afraid of sunlight...

Caught up in morbid reflection again,
Yearning for jovial times,
When youth's abandon
Had me playing games 'til sunrise...

Wishing for coffee and conversation
About the French House commons,
Or even cigarettes in the dark
After an AA meeting.

"Is it so hard to pick up a phone?"
When I've been sapped of strength
From long, hard hours at work,
Or I feel I'd be an imposition -
That phone feels more like a chore
Than like a chance to soar.

So, I pen poems in the witching hours,
Not sure if they make much sense,
Ever reminding myself,
"It's a challenge,
To see if you can write!"
Honestly, I don't think I can...

Heck, I'm not too sure I can talk -
Always left behind, in the group.

"Cause and effect?" (P.o.t.D. 12/5/16)

Why...?

Can we peek behind the curtain,
And see how these miracles
Are manufactured by the mundane?

Can we piece together
Across all the epochs
How man came from amoeba,
Or... better yet...
How amoeba came from stardust?

Or... are we to be left
Reeling from shock and awe,
Wondering what could twist a mind so,
To kill all those innocents
With guns or knives or hands -
The weapon is the person, not the tool.

So much is out there,
With some modeled quite well
By some excellent minds
While so much more, like those minds,
Is still baffling -
A marble holding a galaxy, held by..?

"For the Birds?" (P.o.t.D. 12/4/16)

Strutting around the yard,
A rooster crows and pecks the ground.
He would give up
His roost over all the hens
To be an eagle, high above,
Gliding upon the thermals
With eyes spotting innocent prey
Like himself.

Stimulus - Nothing.
Stimulate harder - Nothing.
Frustration wells up...

Stimulus - Response.
Stimulus - Response. Laughter.
...warm, fuzzy feelings...

"Skip, Skip, Slippity Slip" (P.o.t.D. 12/3/16)

Christmas lights flashing?
...or police speeding down the road?

My mind's falling apart,
Like a smacked down garlic clove...

Vogon poetry, I challenge thee!

Skip, skip, and slippity slip -
Grasping at memories,
Like holding water on your fingers.

I just want to be complete,
And I hate living, lacking...
Worried about my next meals,
Putting off getting clothes
From a second-hand store...

Skip, skip, slippity slip -
Life feels like a broken record,
"And all the king's men
Couldn't put him back together, again..."

Is my mind sparking and flashing?
Have my actions become labored,
With way too much of my brain?

Skip, skip, slippity slip -
I like how that phrase rolls
Off the tongue,
Like sweet hot caramel
Hugging an ice cream scoop....

Who are we,
To force our hands,
To help make this make sense?

A night with so little sleep
Leaves me hard-pressed to focus,
To not drift, or skip,
Or perhaps even shout...

I want to be done with today!
I want to sleep deep and dream wild!

But, alas... the hunger gnaws at my flesh,
As if a pound of that
Could satisfy this ravenous poem.

So, first, I write;
Then, I eat,
Then, Gods willing, I get to sleep...

"October 1998" (P.o.t.D. 12/2/16)

"Why not suicide?
If I feel like a failure,
Why keep sucking air?"

...a lucid moment,
as my mind reeled
from her harsh breakup
and hoping beyond hope
that she would visit once more...

"Why not suicide?
She no longer loves me, and
My bed is so cold..."

...the depression grew starker,
as i fell further behind on rent,
and i went hungry for lunch,
looking long at the cafe
next to the new professional job...

"Why not suicide?
I'm not cut out for this work,
And, one day, they'll know..."

...so, i played upon my arms
with a dull swiss army,
leaving scratches galore,
but afraid to draw blood and gore...

...i began to call in sick,
when i had just overslept,
because i hadn't slept all night...

...and then?

My plan changed like that,
And I guzzled Depakote -
One month's worth of pills.

Last I remember,
I was laying down to sleep
My life's final sleep...

...they tell me,
that they found me
sitting in my underwear,
against my bedroom wall...

...they tell me,
that they dragged me
to the shower,
turning it on,
full blast on hot...

...they tell me,
that i had 90% kidney failure,
and a body temperature of 84...

First came activated charcoal,
Then a feeding tube and a catheter -
A dash of dialysis, for fun?

Thankfully, I was deep in a coma,
Lying in a bed for three weeks,
Although I did get some nasty bed sores.

I came to, to The Simpsons
And their Halloween specials;
And to a Congressman
returning to space -
Although, now, I'm hazy on which one...

It was a bit of a recovery,
And I came to realize
That she was hardly worth all that...

But.. I was young and foolish,
And rather quite hopeless...
I had crossed a breaking point of stress.

Suicide is very selfish,
Causing all about you, much pain...

...and yet, I would consider it, once more,
If faced with a future full of my own pain,
Or feelings like I'm a failure, once again...

"Why not suicide?
If I feel like a failure,
Why keep sucking air?"

"Lizards" (P.o.t.D. 12/1/16)

Let's puff up our chests
And spit stinging words to wound
Others' characters...

This knowledge hunger,
Starved by social media,
Pecking at mere crumbs...

P.o.t.D. 11/30/16

The cream cheese was extra creamy;
That worried me...
"Has it gone bad?"

Just throwing darts in the dark,
Hoping I'll hit a magic number,
Instead of a wall, another block..

Listening to the seconds
Marching into oblivion -
Almost a poetic constanct, that clock..

Muffled sounds of a TV,
Blasing out through Danny's door -
At least it's not...

Can't think of a good line
That rhymes with door,
And yet conveys so much more.

exhaustin and hunger beat me down,
stark reminders that I'm so poor.
so, instead of mumbling aound,
i'm off to sleep, perhaps snore.

Gratitude month, day 30 - endings and closure

What am I thankful for, this November?

Day 30 - Endings and closure

Day 29 - differing opinions
Day 28 - physical affection
Day 27 - humility
Day 26 - bipolar recovery
Day 25 - puzzles and games
Day 24 - science fiction and fantasy
Day 23 - mathematical patterns
Day 22 - country night skies
Day 21 - cultural diversity
Day 20 - weather changes
Day 19 - musical diversity
Day 18 - paradox and illusion
Day 17 - laws
Day 16 - world cuisines
Day 15 - unconditional love
Day 14 - scientific progress
Day 13 - Meetup groups
Day 12 - personal freedoms
Day 11 - strong and deep friendships
Day 10 - positive self-image
Day 9 - the arts
Day 8 - pets
Day 7 - forgiving
Day 6 - housing
Day 5 - amiable nature
Day 4 - debts under control
Day 3 - my education
Day 2 - loving family
Day 1 - good health

"Streaming without emotions" (P.o.t.D. 11/29/16)

A funeral mask,
A stone heart,
The monotone voice...

No interest
In your sports,
Or petty gossips...

"There's this terrible pain
In the diodes
Down my left side."

But, robot that I am,
I still bleed when cut,
And I can still cry
Crocodile tears!

Perhaps the bipolar meds
Have robbed me of emotions,
But at least, with this cocktail,
My brain's moving faster
Than "Slugs on Ice"...

With the number of deaths
That I seem to have dodged,
My mind gets twisted up
In a delusion
Of being a "Millenial Man".

It's silly, really,
Probably encouraged
By reading heavily in sci-fi...

I just want to be
Like other normal men,
Able to feel the feels
Without being overwhelmed;
And to express my loves and hates
Without getting ostracized...

Perhaps, in this life,
I must suffer
These extremes of attachment and aversion;
And to separate the desires from the self,
That I may learn and model
How to be a calm eye in the storms ahead...

Then, my Cyrano,
In parting parries,
Leaves me this final thought:
"Alas, Bean, no lass will you marry"

"I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it. "
(Agent Smith, "The Matrix")

"Seasons" (P.o.t.D. 11/28/16)

As I stare across a screen of white lights;
Thinking of snow falling gently, slowing
During winter's cold, brisk, and silent nights...

Peace comes to the mice resting in the earth;
As they hide from the owl's relentless flights
To come out again, upon spring's rebirth...

Children skip about, jarring green fireflies,
While a wind whips up ashes in the hearth
And mom knits in summer, breathing low sighs...

Jack-o-lanterns sit on the porch, glowing,
With promise of candy within their eyes
While a mild autumn breeze begins blowing...

a rant, for what it's worth....

I slept for three hours,
And now I'm awake again...

Living on ten dollars until Thursday,
Locked in this cycle
Of paycheck to paycheck,
Wishing I could see financial relief...

Creature comforts.

I'd like to see Dr. Strange,
To eat out more,
Or have good food to choose from
Instead of the bachelor's fridge...
To enjoy the arts?

Feeling this bare hole in my soul -
No companion to share my strife with,
Or my joys, or simply my time...

I did have an option tonight
To push my exhaustion
And go catch some improv with another -
Alas, my weary bones wanted relief.

It worries me that three hours was enough -
"I'm watching you, bipolar!"

...watching like a slow train wreck,
Tearing up sweet friendships
With poorly planned comments,
And my bizarre humor
Overlooked and mistaken...

...and I feel like some misshapen troll,
digging through the news feed,
hoping for some relief, some release,
Some escape from the chaos of my mind.

Maybe I need more books,
Or perhaps I need to create -
To toss my words
Upon a figurative fire,
And keep my monkeys placated...
Or, possibly, meditation would be best
To find a nugget of peace
In this maelstrom, inside and out?

Sitting at the computer, right now,
I hear the clock ticking,
The fridge humming,
And my radio in my room,
Softly playing classical.
Thankfully, the TV is silent
And the house mates are not up and about.
Solitude in the midnight hour.

I talk of the chaos in my mind,
But words can not describe it...?
For no words are coming quickly,
And I'm so slow to respond,
To form my thoughts into something I understand...

I want a safe space, amongst my friends -
A place that I can go
And say whatever I feel,
Without feeling threatened,
Or feeling like I'm threatening...

I want to go back to the 3rd grade playground,
Where we could pretend to be our D&D characters,
And not be concerned by the mocking of others.

I want to understand why
Those women are cutting me out of their lives,
When I thought I was connecting...
Am I too intense?
Do I obsess too much?
Am I fooling myself,
Thinking I'm independent
When I'm actually codependent?
Who do I remind them of,
That triggers that fear?

Do I end this rant here, tonight,
Or for this moment,
To refuel and recharge some more?

"Obsessed?" (P.o.t.D. 11/27/16)

Reading others' words,
I pray for peace in my mind -
"Silence these demons!"

Take Three?
"I'd like to have a conversation..."
'Oh? On what topic?'
"Synchronicity? Just start talking, and see what strikes a chord?"
'Would you like some musical interludes?'

I'm craving companionship, but I'm tired as white rock road with cracks baked in by the relentless Texas summers...
Not the best analogy, I know... but then, you know my mind comes unhinged, swinging wildly like a screen door in the ten-minute Texas thunderstorms...
'Twould be nice to be pardners, thick as thieves... Alas! I roll down the road, like the tumbleweeds.
...and I shake the dust from my sandals, and I sigh, for then wrote, ye Vandals:

Not sure what to post?
I hear pictures of cats work,
While politics don't...

"Black Friday Lament" P.o.t.D. 11/26/16

Buy, buy, buy, buy more -
Spend the money you don't have -
For what? New bookends?

"Take Two Aspirin..." (P.o.t.D. 11/25/16)

The fabric of society is shot through
With this idea to change the way we feel.

Some methods, like talking it out
And healthy exercise - perhaps yoga;
Or just eating good food instead of grease -
They have their merits,
Which may be discussed down the road...

But, what about
Taking two aspirin,
With or without doctor supervision?

Or, drinking, or drugging,
Our minds into a stupor,
Worse than slugs on ice?

Feel your allergies returning, this year?
Why not self-medicate
With what worked last year,
Or maybe Facebook's suggested potage?

OOooo... you have a chronic illness
That we barely know how to treat?
Try this brand new medicine,
Even though, in ten years,
It may give you diabetic feet...

Got a pain in your back,
And the pain-killers
Are not giving you slack?
Maybe you can fudge the doses...
Quite a slippery track.

It's so easy to feed Big Pharma,
It's so easy to add one more pill,
To build ourselves up to a morning cocktail
Of thirteen or more drugs for our ills...
All the while, not caring or watching
How they interact, or new symptoms instill.

Physician! Heal Thyself!
Do not tell me to "Take Two..."
Tell me how to live well,
That good health will then ensue,
For I am not a lab rat
From which your data accrues...

...and this is but one facet,
With no mention of
Tobacco, alcohol,
And all the rest...
I need to let my mind stew,
Before observing those best...

----- poem seeds below ------

Take the zyprexia to feel better,
Get diabetes ten years later...

Cocktail of 17 pills day and night,
Whose effects have no foresight.

Got a pain in the back...
take a pain killer...

if we legalize it,
then the criminal activity drops...
but what about the abuse?

P.o.t.D. 11/24/16

A poem about crap:
The pains jalapenos bring -
What relief is there?

"Company at 3 a.m." (P.o.t.D. 11/23/16)

I think I'm alone
But cars whiz by, frogs ribbit,
Snails crunch under feet..?

"Trainwreck" (P.o.t.D. 11/22/16)

Watching this train wreck
Advance slowly, building steam
To leave tracks unclean.

"Distracted" (P.o.t.D. 11/21/16)

I try to focus,
Yet my mind wanders, wonders
At every sound...

"Winter warmth" (P.o.t.D. 11/20/16)

Curled up with a cathartic hot cocoa
As the fire crackles and snaps,
Giving out their own heats
To warm me through and through,
Inside and out
From weary foot
To quiet depths of a kind heart.

"Asthma's Release?" (P.o.t.D. 11/18/16)

As the allergies attack me,
Robbing me of sleep so adored,
I toss and turn throughout the day;
And with this misery I become so bored...

I have some zest for life, still,
But physically I want to be free of this corpse -
Just falling through a rooftop full of leaves
Smothered and covered, with breaths no more.

"Lamenting Grabby People" (P.o.t.D. 11/19/16)

It saddens me,
That I'm forced to think globally -
To keep an eye on the neighbors
That their poison does not spread...

Actually, I wish no poison was used,
And, in harmony, we act fused,
For everyone's good,
Instead of fat cats getting fatter...

If we could break free of carbon,
And protect, instead of kill, our bees;
If we could love planet and neighbor -
That would make me so very pleased.

Here's where I'd spin off on a tirade -
But I've been worn down, beat down,
So bloody, plumb old tired...
That I hope my anger is not needed
In future edits, when all these poems get wired.

That reminds me,
That I must create a foundation for next year.
I wonder if blogger can capture my hopes,
Or will I have to look for another site
To bind all these poems together with silken ropes.

As I said, I'm tired;
Maybe, on caffeine, a tad wired -
I hope my efforts may get me hired,
Assuming, we all survive "You're Fired!"

"Ozymandias" (P.o.t.D. 11/17/16)

What was left unscathed,
But some obscene shrine to hate,
Amid ruins of state...?

"Signal to Noise" (rough draft, P.o.t.D. 11/16/16)

Where's the signals in all of the noise?
What are the currents driving our state?

All the people in their bubbles
Fostering deep insane hate
For any who are others...

Even rationality unravels
As it runs head-on
Into the crowd's wall of ignorance

Or petty little gossips
Concerned about a dress's color
Instead of a Martian milestone.

You might counter, "I'll just post pictures
Of family, and food, and cats!"
OK, maybe cats eating family feast

In this season of Thanksgiving.
In my heart, it feels like
We've lost our direction

And we're drifting downstream
Into dangerous rapids,
Where all that will be left will be static.

"Tears from on High" (P.o.t.D. 11/15/16)

Delicate snowflake
Melting on my tongue - it tastes
Salty, bittersweet...

"Cuties, a Year Later" (P.o.t.D. 11/14/16)

Eight cuties before me today,
Chilled for a month, and yet,
How succulent and sweet they tasted
Over a course of several minutes -
Eat them one by one, popped whole,
Sweet juices squirting so!

Alas.. the quarter hour is not complete,
Without that Pink Floyd song,
Hiding, "in the front of my mind..?"

"Puppet's Lament" (P.o.t.D. 11/14/16)

I dance before you,
Stumbling over my two feet,
Controlled by cords linked...

"Beware Unbridled Anger" (alternate) P.o.t.D. 11/13/16

I feel so alone
On this planet with its hate...
We made U.S. great?
------------
I feel so alone
On this planet with its hate...
Made America great?
--------------
Be careful, Jody Bean, of charging ahead,
Guided by unbridled anger, free of reins...
For a cliff lies ahead, ro which that horse may be blind.....

Can we survive the tumble over its edge?

"Beware Unbridled Anger" P.o.t.D. 11/13/16

I feel so alone
On this planet with its hate...
We made U.S. great?