"Unfriended" (P.o.t.D. 7/26/15, no rev)

She lingers in my thoughts, a resentment
That subtly preys upon my peace of mind.
I am perplexed why she left no mention
When she cut off contact in ways unkind.

"Do you...?" (P.o.t.D. 7/25, no rev)

Do you still love me,
Flaws and all - imperfect soul?
Speak true now - do you?

"Finding a Purpose"

Dear Human:

You’ve got it all wrong.
You didn’t come here to master unconditional love.
That is where you came from and where you’ll return.
You came here to learn personal love.
Universal love.
Messy love.
Sweaty love.
Crazy love.
Broken love.
Whole love.
Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling.
Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often.
You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are.
You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.
And then to rise again into remembering.
But unconditional love?
Stop telling that story.
Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives.
It doesn’t require modifiers.
It doesn’t require the condition of perfection.
It only asks that you show up. And do your best.
That you stay present and feel fully.
That you shine and fly and laugh and cry
and hurt and heal and fall and get back up
and play and work and live and die as YOU.
It’s enough. It’s Plenty.

~ Courtney Walsh

"'Alone!', he wails..." (P.o.t.D. 4/13/08, rev 6/24/17)

Restrain tongue and pen, in work and in play --
Emotions checked, yet lusty obsessions
Simmer, seeking to have their ugly say.
Public, private perspectives, perceptions
Entwined, interwoven, in tangled skein.
Confusing courage with cries of caution,
Tangled I am found, again and again -
I am lost in deontic ties that bind.
Now... do I cross antiquated fences,
Gaining insight, facing fears, in my mind?

Before, I would "sit in solemn silence",
Overcome my feelings, yet... highstrung... tense -
Untold wreckage building upon my soul,
Never once did I feel complete and whole.
Dwelling in a pure ivory tower,
And discontent... alone... each midnight hour.
Reason only took me farther - too far -
Inside self, loves buried in aching heart,
Encamped, enclosed, entrapped, entombed "in a
Steel cage" - a lean role sans sensual sin.

Inhibitions: respect? ... or overcome?
Note, then, the true fears from among the sum.

Look... Listen... Love... and the world unfolds!
Infinite nuances will be revealed,
From which billions of stories can be told -
Experiences that can truly heal.

Everyone has a story to tell;
Stories so deep, they cause my heart to swell!
Pensive, I will miss their insights around
Even though, like armies, do they surround.
Circled by artisans, artists, arsons;
Igniting passions, felt by all senses.
Around my prison of independence
Lay self-centered lies from self-sufficience;
Leading me to forget growth from "my mind,
Your mind, learning when we are intertwined".

Ignoring others, I find I become
Narcistic, pessimistic... my thoughts, numb.

Life is too short to live in a ship's hold;
Overcome, I must, these imagined seals!
Voyeuer, no more - engage others, be bold -
Enrich my life, sharing others' ordeals!

"Whispers" (P.o.t.D. 3/22/15, no rev)

Secrets lay unsaid,
Hidden under many words
Given so freely.

"Errant Knight" (P.o.t.D. 1/31/15 rev 1/31/17)

"Let me be your knight in shining armor!"
'Why, when you waste your time, to armor shine?'
"I can save you from your troubles, amor!"
'My love life's just fine, I don't need your whine...'

The troubles with dating? Imperfect roles.
Movies paint these rosy pictures of love
In their chase for ratings, without real goals,
Yet they only offer us a peace dove.

I speak from my humble abode, in rhymes:
"No car, No house, - these shiny things aren't mine
To offer to you, in your troubled times."
Perhaps this poem is my attempt to sign,

"I wish I could just wave a magic wand..."
Solves no problems, because magic is gone.

"Cooling the Fire"

As love's brief embers become cold, grey ash,
The heart labors long to stop anger's match.

"Unfriended" (P.o.t.D. 7/26/15)

She lingers in my thoughts, a resentment
That subtly preys upon my peace of mind.
I am perplexed why she left no mention
When she cut off contact in ways unkind.

"Do you...?" (P.o.t.D. 7/25)

Do you still love me,
Flaws and all - imperfect soul?
Speak true now - do you?

"Whispers" (P.o.t.D. 3/22/15)

Secrets lay unsaid,
Hidden under many words
Given so freely.

"Don't talk with strangers" (P.o.t.D. 2/14/15)

Sipping on his coffee, reading paper,
He steals a glance at the Goddess nearby...
His mind's been knocked senseless by her beauty,
He is stunned, unable to say a word.

I imagine it's all gone for the best -
Who's to say talking with her, in stunned state
Would not lay a bedrock of half-truths, lies
Building a house of cards, to topple soon.

He had never seen her before that day,
So biology was running amuck...
Despite what the films portray, in their dreams,
Comments from strangers are just plain harassing.

"Errant Knight" (P.o.t.D. 1/31/15)

"Let me be your knight in shining armor!"
'Why, when you have the time, to armor shine?'
"I can save you from your troubles, amor!"
'My love life will be fine, don't need your whine...'

The trouble with dating? Imperfect roles.
Movies paint these rosy pictures of love,
In their chase for ratings, without real goals -
Yet some can only offer a peace dove.

I speak from my humble abode, in rhymes:
No car, No house, No tough guy - these aren't mine
To offer in these, your most troubled times.
Perhaps this poem is my attempt to sign,

"I wish I could just wave a magic wand -
Solves no problems, because magic is gone..."

hmm.. 5-variable relationship test

My Five Variable Love Profile:

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is medium.
You probably have had a couple significant loves.
And you may have even had your heart broken.
But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.
This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.
You know a relationship is not about getting your way.
And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is medium.
You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...
But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.
You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.

Independence:

Your independence is medium.
In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."
You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.
But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

"'Alone!', he wails..." (P.o.t.D. 4/13//08)

Restrain tongue and pen, in work and play --
Emotions checked, yet obsession
Simmers, seeking say.
Public and private perspectives and perceptions
Entwined, interwoven, in a tangled skein.
Confusing courage with cries of caution,
Tangled again,
I am, in deontic ties that bind.
Now... is it time to cross antiquated fences,
Gaining insight, challenging fears, in my mind?

Before, I would "sit in solemn silence",
Overcome my feelings, yet... highstrung... tense.
Untold wreckage building upon my soul,
Never once did I feel complete and whole.
Dwelling in a pristine ivory tower,
And discontent... alone... each midnight hour.
Reason only took me farther - too far -
Inside self, loves buried in aching heart,
Encamped, enclosed, entrapped, entombed "in a
Steel cage" - a lean role sans sensual sin.

Inhibitions... to be respected? ...to be overcome?
Noble confidence separates the true fears from the sum.

Look... Listen... Love... and the world unfolds,
Infinite nuances will be revealed,
From which billions of stories can be told -
Experiences that can truly heal.

Everyone has a story to tell;
Stories so deep, they cause my heart to swell.
Pensive, I will miss these insights around
Even though, like armies, do they surround.
Circled by artisans, artists, arsons;
Igniting passion, felt by all senses.
Against that prison of independence
Lies the world's lie of self-sufficience;
Leading me to forget growth from "my mind,
Your mind, learning when they are intertwined".

Ignoring others, I suddenly find I do become
Narcistic, self-sadistic, pessimistic... my thoughts, numb.

Life is too short to live in a ship's hold;
Overcome, I must, these imagined seals!
Voyeuer, no more - engage others, be bold -
Enrich my life, sharing others' ordeals!

Dream (4/12/08): a tango..?

3 scenes from a dream this afternoon, and a pondering about who she is:

The lady is slender and tall, with shoulder length red hair, and some amount of fame and possible notoriety associates with her. Who she is, is up for interpretation, but I feel her fame needs to proceed her, as the events described attach themselves easily to the price of fame?

When I first encounter her, she is pouring her man into the back seat of a black luxury car, as he is so far gone from some active addiction that he has lost all faculty of movement. I pause in my walk along the street, puzzled by this scene, and ask her, "Why are you still with him?"

At which point, she turns, with a tear on her cheek, and recounts a story from ten or more years gone by, and the scene in the dream dissolves into scenes from that story.

The two are seen on a stage, he in a formal black tuxedo, and she in a flowing white dress; they are practicing dance movements haltingly and stutteringly. Then, all of a sudden, as their eyes meet, or perhaps as his hand provides a strong anchor of support, something clicks. She begins to move freely with him, falling into the tempo of a tango, letting go of all worries of the outside world and the audience filtering in.

Several hours later, I now see her backstage, wrapped in nothing but the black tuxedo coat, positively beaming. He is tending to her needs, still dressed in all but the coat, and soaked thru and thru. I want to say that there's blood on his lips, too.

I'm thinking the tango turned into a bit of burlesque, and I want to associate this with a pivotal moment of overcoming stage fright, where the lady surrendered to this man.

Now, this is a dream, so who the lady is, is still up for interpretation. My first association actually thought maybe this was Lucille Ball, and correspondingly Desi Arnez. Then, I thought maybe it could be Cher..? Most likely, though, thinking about her physique, I probably modeled her after a real-life burlesque performer (who was incredibly hot) I saw during the Texas Burlesque Review at South by SouthWest.