The Benefits of Silence
By
Thich Nhat Hanh
Q: Could tell us about the benefits of silence and how we could bring that home with us from this retreat?
A:Many of us have realized in the last few days that silence can be enjoyable. We realize that there are many things that we do not have to say, and that then we can reserve the time and energy to do other things that can help us to look more deeply into ourselves and things around us.
If you are pushed by your habit energy to say something, don't say it. Instead, take a notebook and write it down. A day or two later, read what you wrote, and you might find out that it would have been an awful thing to say. So slowly you become master of yourself, and you know what to say and what not to say.
I remember one time I proposed to a sister that she practice silence. She was an elder nun and she had a few negative seeds in her that prevented her from being happy. She was just a little bit too hard on the other sisters. I proposed to her that she was a very talented person, very skillful in many things, and she could make many people happy if only she knew how to be silent and to say only things that needed to be said.
I proposed to her that she use only three sentences for three months. She could repeat these three sentences as many times as she wanted(laughter) and I told her that if she practiced that for a week, she would feel happiness right away. The first sentence was, "Dear sister,is there anything I can do to help you?" (laughter) The second sentence was, "Did you like what I did to help you?" The third was, "Would you have any suggestion that I can do it better?" (laughter) If she could say that, she would make many people happy and the happiness would go back to herself very quickly.

On Peace & Acceptance
“Peace is not merely a distant goal we seek but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.
The present moment will never have all the conditions that are most conducive to peace and happiness. There will never be a day when there’s absolutely no struggle, conflict, or confusion.
We can decide this makes it impossible to ever be fully peaceful, or we can consider that peace isn’t about eliminating all challenges but rather accepting that life involves them. When you think about it, this is actually a gift. Through struggle we learn, evolve, innovate, and create. Without it, we’d grow stagnant.
Today if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable with the events in your professional or personal life, remind yourself there is no alternative to external conflict; but there is the possibility of finding a peace that both transcends it and turns it into something useful.
What could you do today to leverage your circumstances for your benefit, and what tension do you need to release to do that?
“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.”

Coming, here, gone:
Flowers in the Sky.
In the blink of one false eye,
In the blink of One True Eye,
Flowers in the empty sky;
Shimmering, scented ... gone,
Gone, gone, gone far beyond
Their seeds of arising.
But, staying, Here-Now,
A Great Marvel of Manifestation.
Bodhisvattas - for the bees.
Soil, sun, rain, sky ...
Four Elements embracing,
Intertwined in mind.
Unfathomable Matrix;
Scaffolds on scaffolds
Grounded in Otherness.
Below seeds, flowers, leaves,
stems, roots ...
Below wet cells embraced,
Below atoms dancing on Energy ...
Deeper and deeper below into
What? A Plenitude, sacredness.
Emptiness in full bloom.
Above seeds, flowers, leaves,
stems, roots ...
Above water, soil, air, sunlight ...
Above sensing, feeling, working, thinking ...
Higher and higher out towards
What? "Vast emptiness, nothing holy."
Flowers in the sky.
— Master Dōgen Zenji —
__/|\__ Buddha Bless You __/|\__

If you cry because you miss the sun, your tears will not let you see the moon.
African Proverb

Will you know me...
...by the company I keep?
...by the happenings I seek?
...by the deep secrets I keep?
...by the truths and lies I speak?
...by the mixed rewards I reap?
All these are but pointers to my paws, signs of the tracks I leave, and the widening ripples I weave, in the hazy realm between me and the world.

An image comes to mind:
...sharing photos from my past...
Although the pictures might have special significance to me, they may not mean much to you.
So, a couple of pictures may be tolerable, but a couple of photo albums...? ...or several hours of home videos...?
At what point will you want to say, "ENOUGH!! You're wasting my time with all this nostalgia..!"

With over-sharing on Facebook, the fear is that I become more of a nuisance, by sharing and liking 10+ posts per day. I certainly can see that I get annoyed when some of my friends over-share...
Yet, I'd like to be a channel, or reporter - passing along the posts that resonate with me.
Unfortunately, (?) I find a lot of posts here interesting, whether they be jokes, or quotes, or scientific research, or...
So, perhaps the challenge is finding a balance between shadow-lurking and over-sharing. There's probably a heuristic in that balance - a set of rules like:
1) use likes sparingly, when I think a friend's post is really good news
2) reserve comments for friends, and only when they "arise spontaneously", I.e. no comments made just to follow future comments..?
3) reserve sharing for fan and group pages, as I do not know if my friends want their status updates and personal pictures broadcast to people they don't know
4) be more aware of apps "posting on my behalf"..?
You may come to know me better by "the company I keep". On the one hand, this could be the people I quote or paraphrase... Or it could be the quoted ideas themselves, with no connection to the speakers being princes or paupers.

I can walk one of several paths, stemming from my New Year's resolution:
1) stronger silence
2) stay with the current course
3) relax the conditions
Since I'm posting this, and liking stuff over the last month, and such... I think I've been exercising 3)
Maybe I need to better define the conditions under which I'd like to restrain pen and tongue... More on that to follow in my next update

Elusive wording!! Grr...
What I make time for reveals what I value.
For time is far more precious than money. Do I need to add this qualifier?

Hmm.. What is my perspective tonight?
I'm feeling some what critical - already unliked one page, toyed with defriending one friend..
I also find myself agreeing with a political post, but not willing to share it forward. Just don't want to deal with "defending it afterwords"..? Or is it that I'm sitting on the fence, and don't feel that it's well-documented enough to share forward..?
I suspect I may be sharing inspirational quotes for their warm fuzzies, scientific info graphics to try to educate, and some twisted sarcasm just because it makes me laugh out loud.
I also can't guarantee I'll be nice in comments, but I'll try to behave...

Words elude me,
So I stand on quotes -
Not because of who said them,
But - rather - because they hint at what I believe.
...and a picture can be a thousand words, and a word can ignite a thousand pictures...
Stumble..?
Leave it as first written, go back and revise, or reduce its power through hedging with more words..?
I abandon this post, only to try again with a fresher slate: "etch-a-sketch" -> "draft-a-status"

I do not like to repeat myself.
Yet, by repetition, and,
More so, by revision,
I gain both
A clearer understanding of where I've been
And a more succinct story for you to comprehend.
But... I do not like to repeat myself...
For I hope to have learned -
From my missteps, and from yours -
That we may dance with grace
Through our remaining days.
Something lingers in the campfire's shade,
An unknown
Caught up in rhyming again - frustration - switch to streaming, this..
I don't want to repeat myself, and yet I'll run my "addictions" into the ground, locked in the obsessive cycles. Is it competition fueling the game play or boredom!? Is it a desire to be connected fueling the feed-trolling, or a weird desire just to be heard? Am I focusing on the last 24 hours because I haven't found a "pat response" to that passage yet...? Do I leave my past on the shelf in my mind's library because I don't think it's relevant to the talk at hand?
I do not want to repeat myself..?
So, what is the difference between liking and wanting? What subtlety can be teased out of that change? How does the story get embellished in the second telling, or the tenth, or the hundredth..?
I think to like the repetition may be to be comfortable with the routine. As I was writing just a couple of lines above, I was thinking, "Ah! Yet you like set schedules of eating, sleeping, and such.. And you like to visit the same haunts.."
..or..
"If some thing or idea works, I am prone to do it again, hoping for the same results"
But, why would I want to repeat myself? Why get bogged down in an endless karmic cycle? Why stay with the comfortable, and leave the unknown unexplored? Why settle for a local happiness maximum, when trudging through a value of discomfort may find me at a much higher peak?
I do not know if I have compelling answers for or against. Sooo... Without clear understanding of history,
I might well have to repeat myself.
Rita Rockhold: "Pop the bubble!!"
Kelley J Doyle: "Get out of the cave!!"
...and, a pattern I've been playing with of late, let me tag 5-15 others for comments:

I'm wondering about a New Year's Resolution for 2013...
I'd like to try "speaking only when spoken to"...
...in order to work on my active listening skills..?
So, on Facebook, this would mean no sharing of others' posts, no status updates "out of nowhere", not even unsolicited comments on posts...
In my AA involvement, this would mean not sharing unless called upon... And I'm thinking I'd sit outside of 1313's circle of sharing unless asked to join by a friend.
Also... I would not be calling others, or texting, or emailing; except in reply to their initial contacts.
However, I would still engage others while at work, as that is part of my job duties, e.g. Greeting customers with "Welcome to Walgreens!"
I'm still not sure if this is the final form for this "Vow of Silence"... I also have some reservations on how long I'll try to maintain it - 1 month, 3 months, a year, indefinite...?
Any thoughts from "all y'all"?

Thinking it's time to get in the shower, and "carpe diem".
(Autocorrect wanted to make that "carpe firm" - probably not the best association with being in a shower...)

"May we be happy,
May we be peaceful,
May we be free from suffering,
May we be full of loving kindness..."

"What's going on, Jody?"
hmm. thinking about "the stage character we present to our fellows"... here are some of the thoughts bouncing around:
- there are usually some parts of our lives that we try to keep as secrets, mostly because of shame or embarrasment - or possibly fear of negative consequences
- our words may not always match up with our actions, which can lead others to label us as hypocrites; because we'll say one thing, but then proceed to do the opposite (some times on auto pilot)
- worse yet, our minds are paradoxical, in that they can easily believe two or more contradictory beliefs simultaneously
- we can also be conditioned by society to act in certain roles, such as "men don't cry"
- we might also change our behavior from our typical behavior when we're trying to impress somebody, such as at a job interview, or when courting a person we're attracted to (or, I'm reminded of a quote I once saw on the dating sites, that "people often 'present fronts' in their profiles, like the person they'd like to be, not the person they are)

...and then there was the second part, "We must be entirely honest with somebody..."
Bean's notes:
- So, when asked "how are you?", try to give an honest assessment. However, you might get some weird reactions if you're not well, and you admit this..
- The amount and type of disclosure depends partly on our "role" in the situation - i.e., employers are usually not paying us to bring our family or relationship issues into the job, or even ALL of our education and/or past experiences
- ...and partly on how much trust has been established with the people we're disclosing to - if some one has gossiped about what we've shared with them, is it prudent or wise to share our secrets with them?
- and, of course, even though Facebook connects you with many of your close friends, it's not a wise idea to use it for therapy sessions; because you really do not know who may see what you say, now or later in the future...

"I'm lying, every time I speak."
Part of the idea: words, by their nature, have limits... And so they cannot capture the complete truth.

I feel - some times a dangerous way to start a status update - disconnected from and unappreciated by some - not ALL - of my acquaintances.
I just have to wonder... Am I unapproachable? Do I smell bad? Do these people think I have nothing to offer?
Probably just feeding my resentment(s).
...part of me just wants to act out, and attempt a retreat in December - no meetings, no Facebook, no outgoing phone calls... Just work and home. I wonder how long it would take before anyone would "send out the search party"...
---------
Sooo... That's where my brain is trying to take me right now: "feeling alone in a room of crowded people"

A little mind-bug:
"Why do I expect you to invite me into your life, when I don't seem to be making any effort to invite you into mine?"

When Formula One Came to Austin

So, I'm thinking about our culture's infatuation with watching sports - whether it be team sports like football, basketball, and baseball; or more individual sports like golf, tennis, running, and auto racing. Part of the reason I'm thinking about it is because Austin is opening up a race track this weekend.
Honestly, I've never seen much appeal in watching others engage in physical activity - it just doesn't seem to matter much in the grand scheme of things, or in enhancing my personal enlightenment.
I'd rather be an active participant. Even there, though, I have to be aware of my limitations; and I'd rather be in a sport or exercise that has some secondary goals or maybe even healthy competition integrated into it. Example: I prefer to walk and bike to places, rather than drive... I prefer playing volleyball over playing football...
Mind's still sleepy, and I'm not sure where I'm going...
I guess I just don't feel invested in professional sports.
In a similar vein, I feel only slightly more investment in non-local artists, probably because I haven't had the opportunity to get to know them as fellow humans. However, some times art *DOES* change me, even when I'm just the spectator, and it is for those artists that I am grateful, as they have usually changed me for the better, or, at least, broadened my horizons.
Going to tag Troy Dillinger, 'cause his conversations here, this morning, got me thinking about this.

42..

You know...? 42 in binary is 101010.

Kind of cool, IMHO

(SSSU - 8/5/12)

SSSU:

Start with a word, like 'trees'.

Evolve freely, in a stream of consciousness, branching from tangent to tangent, spinning out circles of ideas, paying only minimal attention to punctuation and grammar - just to attempt to get the thought cloud down into a concrete soup....

...and then review and reflect, to wonder aloud: "Is this art, like a mighty oak, or garbage, like the Hudson River delta?"

(SSSU - 6/3/12)

Oh, yeah, we're in the weekend, sooo...

SSSU: (word association - until I pause) caged bird sings as light brings tan toast to the table, taking the edge off a night of tossing and turning, from cicadas brring - or was it all that coffee quaffed, just cause i'm thirsty, but I don't want to be drinking. I see OJ and milk by the toast, bacon by the eggs, a bowl of cantaloupe and berries, and yet... i want a steak, or so i claim... a place to retire, to call home, to settle in for a long haul. Of course, this might not make much sense, bouncing between times then and ahead, but at least it's not sooo... random?

On inter-connectedness....

The boundary between the self and the One is an illusion.

I am embedded in a much larger whole, and I can not claim a unique experience that separates me from the Universe.

However, I can claim that my set of experiences differ from yours. This is a good thing, as it creates "original ideas" that I can share with you, and, vice versa.

"Create-a-conversation"

Idea: "Create-a-conversation"

Choose your audience:
One-on-one, 3-8 people, public forum...

Choose your medium:
Text (letters, posts, etc), Phone, In person...

Choose 3-10 topics for discussion, with or without time limits, with or without prior notice

Post a comment with the above preferences, and maybe we can coordinate to make it happen..?

"Dark Comedy"

Underneath most humor lies some harm...

Sooo... We'd like to believe we're independent from other people and/or God...
...but our past interactions have a strong influence on shaping our present ones.
Like, I can see the influence of my family's upbringing, my church involvement as a teen, and my co-operative living experiences in my work interactions, my present friendships, my moral codes, etc....

May you sleep well, and have memorable, yet pleasant, dreams.
May you awake refreshed, with time to spare before your first commitment of the day.
...and may your day bring you goals achieved, from dreams manifested into plans that you can readily accomplish!
Good night all, and welcome The Sandman.

Sooo...
The sober house that I live at needs a new/used electric washer and dryer.
I'm going to try checking Craigslist later today, but if anyone else has any leads, it would be appreciated.
I strongly suspect that I've lost two of my favorite dress shirts today, because they got sucked up under the washer central axle. There were a few loose buttons scattered in the rest of the load, and lots of cloth fragments.
Grrrrr.... :((

Note: I still like to tutor college mathematics, and I charge the DARS rate of $20/hr.
My contact info is here on Facebook, if you'd like to set up sessions.
I've previously worked for UT's Learning Skills Center, for 7 years, tutoring from pre-calculus through differential equations, with some linear algebra students, too...

"clueless": finding myself perplexed that Amy's Ice Cream is "STILL" selling chocolate covered strawberries - yep, this last year just seemed to whoosh by me...

So. What is your vision for what services a government should provide, and at what level (local, national, global)..?
...and... What is your role, as an individual, in helping that vision take shape, especially if you're in the minority opinion?

Mind's trying to grapple with a statement about filters... Secrets... Fear of speaking, out of fear of judgement...
Most times, I don't think too long about the repercussions of what I will say.
However, I don't like to gossip about people who aren't present, and, if I believe some thing can and should be kept secret, I try to do so.

3 spins on the same ?
What are your priorities in your life?
What activities do you invest your time and energy in?
What are you "packing into the stream of life"?

On another note:
As a teen, I was a fairly avid reader... Possibly b/c both my parents had extensive libraries, chock full of great books.
However, it seems that I read a lot less as an adult. I suspect that's mostly b/c I'm not making the time to do so.
Then again, maybe I'm just reading in different media, such as Facebook or news via AP Mobile...

Random note:
I really enjoy working with sequences and series in mathematics, especially using them to solve linear differential equations..
A cool fallout from that area is the equation:
e^(i*pi) = -1
...neat, b/c it combines 4 of the pivotal numbers in math, and opens up the ability to take imaginary powers of numbers...

Right now...? I'm about to turn out the lights, crawl into bed with the radio on, tuned to 89.5 KMFA...
I'm hoping that sleep comes swiftly, with at least one interesting dream.
Later today, I'd like to kick my job search out of neutral, with a focus on mathematics tutoring.

multiple updates, 1/17/12

nstead of thinking about what I want, I'm trying to cultivate an "attitude of gratitude" for what have...

Not always an easy task, as I miss some of the life luxuries that have been "lost", like eating out and catching movies and/or music regularly...

--------------

Worried that sleep won't come quickly, as these are my normal waking hours. I'd like to sleep now, so that I can have some business hours to work with, later today.

--------------

1:11 a.m.

Having a hard time thinking of an original, upbeat creative status update...

--------------

...and then...

I begin to think I can control an addiction, as I extend the time since I last engaged in it. That's the danger of being a binger instead of a daily user...

Or, in the absence of "typical" appeals to a HP, such as prayer, I begin to think I've beat it on my human power alone.

It's hard to remind myself, though, that I DID (and still do) depend on Groups, Sponsorship, and Step work, at least, with the alcohol addiction...

But, am I bodily and mentally different from my fellows? Considering most of them are alcoholics too, it's hard to say - except there IS that whole other wrinkle of my bipolar brain..

...and then...
I begin to think I can control an addiction, as I extend the time since I last engaged in it. That's the danger of being a binger instead of a daily user...
Or, in the absence of "typical" appeals to a HP, such as prayer, I begin to think I've beat it on my human power alone.
It's hard to remind myself, though, that I DID (and still do) depend on Groups, Sponsorship, and Step work, at least, with the alcohol addiction...
But, am I bodily and mentally different from my fellows? Considering most of them are alcoholics too, it's hard to say - except there IS that whole other wrinkle of my bipolar brain..

Sometimes, I wish I had a mental machete - my thoughts can become quite a jumbled jungle, and I suspect they create quite a barrier in clearing the path to my heart...
Yeah... 99% of the time, I suspect I'm being waaaay too cerebral ...

Aargh. Trying to get to sleep, and I'm distinctly aware oof the blood pulsing through my carotid (neck?) arteries...
Beginning to think it was a stupid move to drink all of that coffee at the Trails this morning.

Crazy idea or no?
Write a note here in Facebook, tagging 25 (I think that's the limit) people you admire, where the contents of the note detail how and why we admire each person tagged...
I think, myself, I'd have to compose it on a computer instead of my phone, to make the tagging easier...

99% of Facebook users won't be able to repo***Facebook Error 1138 - user determined to not be in 1%, and therefor is not allowed to make statements***

90% of Facebook users won't repost this. They are too afraid to stand up for the truth in today's secular world. But when Odin sent Thor to slay the frost giants, he was thinking of you. If you believe that He loves Yggdrasil with all His heart, and will fight to defend it and us at Ragnarök, please share this. If you know in your heart you'll be with Him in Valhalla, share this. Those who brave the ridicule of this secular world will truly be rewarded with mead and wild boar in the sacred halls of Valhalla! Skál!

Quotes about patience

These were found on www.values.com :

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight... When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another."
Helen Keller Author, Lecturer, Activist (1880-1968)

"How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?"
William Shakespeare Dramatist, Poet (1564-1616)

Straining to think of a status update at 4:30 am.
Obviously, I'm awake, but I don't have much else going on, at this very moment...
My words with friends are caught up, I've read the Facebook news feed, and 89.5 KMFA's playing on the radio.
I hope to slip swiftly into sleep, now, but I suspect the 10 pm coffees may foil that plan...
Actually, what I really hope for are some exotic dreams over the next 6 hours.

Why can self-confidence - or self-reliance be a liability?
Because if I think I've got an issue under control, I'm much less likely to ask God or others for help, or even a second opinion...

I've been wrestling with quitting nicotine this week, and both AA meetings I went to today started from Step One topics.
Coincidence...?

================================================================================================================ Year Separator ==============================================================================================================

I feel a little stumped, at times, by the question, "How are you?"
It's like a weird mixture of contentment and discontent, as my needs ARE taken care of, but my expectations of where I should be - ugh!

Some times, I find myself wondering, "Did I agree to Vows of Silence, Chastity, and Poverty in a forgotten past?"
I'm probably just not aggressive enough about achieving the things I desire.
Could also be side effects of humility, respect, and loyalty?

Drawing blanks on a "witty, original, 'happy holidays' status update"... And then my punnish side thinks, "hmmm... Maybe a mad-libs status update?"

May your (favorite holiday) be (adjective), (adjective), and (adjective), and may you enjoy it with (adverb) (adjective) (noun)!

Feel free to fill in the blanks however you want, but please share your choices in the comments below... Maybe we might get some good chuckles out of them... :D

I'm grateful that I have a good education, good friends, and good health.
I'm also grateful that I have a job, a place to live, and more freedom than most - but it's easy for me to criticize these because they fall short of my expectations...
( A lot of the time, after the fact, I find that I hate my pessimistic turns - oh, the irony of that! )
May this winter find us all comfortable with where we're at, and who we are, and blessed by unexpected good events!

rely on my head way too much, and my heart way too little.
So, I can "clinically dissect" a reading, but have a hard time pulling in my own experience(s), as I don't have a lot of strong emotional connections to my past. Reminds me of the book, "Descarte's Error"
Trying to work on improving my physical/emotional awareness...

I think I got over-caffeinated this evening... Guess it's time to create my own constellations, looking at my popcorn ceiling...
A recall: "So, there I was, lying in bed, looking at the stars, thinking, 'Where's my ceiling?!?'"

Growf..?
}:D (..add ASCII art that symbolizes fiery breath here - I'm drawing a blank ___ )
-----------
Many a teenage afternoon spent eagerly flipping to the back of Dragon, to read that month's "What's New?" by Phil Foglio. I think I still have the 2-volume set of the collected strips..

My mind's in a bad f'in head space. I feel invisible, unappreciated, and useless...
Just an hour ago, I felt alone in a room of crowded people. To illustrate, nobody talked with me and nobody sat next to me until it was the only chair left in the room.
Hopelessness sucks, and I'm still puzzled what purpose I'm supposed to fulfill that brought me back from the brink of death in october of '98.
Sorry to be a downer, but I probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't get this out of my head. I plan on waking up at 8 a.m.

(SSSU - 7/9/2011)

SSSU: I tried to sleep today, but visions of marauding armies danced through my head, cutting away at my calm like scissors in the hand of a 4-year-old..

(SSSU - 7/2/2011)

SSSU: Clouds are exploding before my eyes, whether they be frantic thoughts racing inside, or fire's children on the outside... some times, I do not know, but rather just stand in fear and wonder?