I was getting suicidal an hour ago.
It had the feel of vengeful suicide: "You guys won't pay attention to me, so take that!"
Part of it also had that feel of public broadcasting: "I don't know what to do. Please help me! I'm going to kill myself to force you to help me." (There have been thoughts, in the past, of doing a live video on Facebook, where I stab myself in the heart...)
Maybe it's just a call for help...
I thought about calling 472-HELP... not sure if that's still a working number for PES
So, now, I spew on Facebook, telling myself that I'm outing myself to try to take power out of the suicidal thoughts.
If I wanted to succeed, then I wouldn't tell anyone, right?
sorry to be a little Grim, y'all...