"Technology and I"

I'm hesitant to write,
And yet, I'd rather write,
Perhaps to "right"...

I was a teenager as PC's stormed our households, and I was in my 20's as Usenet blossomed.. The web was born.. And in my 30's, blogging and social networks exploded onto the digital scene.

So, in some ways, I am a pioneer who rode the digital wave and saw society transform. No, I did not have a computer in my crib, like today's youth... So I can yearn for old-fashioned live interactions, and that can make me squirrelly.

I may not be as savvy as some techies today, able to network your office in a night. Yet, I've interacted with BBS's, Usenet, HTML, blogs, Facebook, and more over the years... These interactions have carried me through some tough times.

It's really easy for me to get raw and uncut, to treat these forums as a public diary, to just "try to be real". It's easy for me to "punch a computer", when frustrated, as I don't normally see that spill back into my real life.

However, I need to remember there are people on the other side of the screen, some of whom are true friends in real life. And I must remember my time at Cingular Wireless, when I had to weather the irate abusive customers on the other end of customer service.

So, even though the filter may be weak, and it may be easy to "punch the computer", or "flame on"... Others will take note, and others will be affected.

More dangerous, still, is that this may still build up as an acceptable practice in my mind... And then what's to prevent me from carrying such outbursts into real life, and "railing at the crowds"..?

Also... I write about outbursts, rages, and such; yet I don't think that's the only way I interact here. It may be the one noticed more, though...

I wonder if people treat me poorly, because they don't think I'll try to retaliate..

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Also, I wonder if people exclude me because they find it hard to relate with me..

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Also, also.. I wonder if AA's an appropriate use of my time. I really dislike the general negativity that seems to be prevalent there...

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Just generally discontent, I am. Bleh.

I'm really angry right now..
..at cap metro for yet another unexpected route change,
..at myself for not staying informed and aware, at just jumping to conclusions and winding up on the wrong bus,
..at south by southwest for such short notice on a volunteer training which I don't think will last more than 15 minutes...
Just want to let out a big old scream, along the lines of, "GODDAMN CLUSTERFUCKED PILE OF SHIT I've slipped in - AAAIIIIGH!!!!"
Thank you for allowing me to vent - now back to more of the same in your Facebook feed.

"The axe forgets
What the tree remembers..."

- African proverb

Today, I'd like to be positive.
I'm asking you to help catch me up, if I start to drift into negative foci.. Thanks in advance!
May our weekends be serene and engaging!

Scratching my head...
"How am I supposed to live on only $5, until I get payed again on Friday, March 1st?"

Gods, I need to find a better-paying career that uses much more of my potential.
This running out of money days before my next paycheck gets stressful... and, honestly?
I don't like trying to sell people on things - I'd rather deal in ideas (I.e. education instead of retail..)

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Has anyone heard of some interesting career openings in the Austin area?

Age 30 given to me by Rita Rockhold
Where I lived: a loft apartment at Cross Creek apartments in North Austin, TX
What I drove: I walked a lot, and I rode the bus to/from school.
What I did: studying to be a secondary math teacher through the UTeach program at UT Austin. Worked on a volunteer database for the NCTM national conference in the spring. Worked part-time as a clerk at the Diamond Shamrock across the street from my apartment. Quit smoking for 6ish months. Regularly went to $2 drink night and played trivia and pool at Barney's Billiards. Hung out with 3 different neighbors. Had a manic meltdown that landed me in ASH for a week in the spring...
Who had my heart: one of my cohorts in UTeach, following several emails that helped get me through the first month of quitting smoking.
Fears: perfectionist tendencies, over-analyzing, deep water and unprotected heights, not being able to pay my bills
...and today? Well, I've already done this once before, so I'll refer you to what I wrote yesterday...
If you'd like me to suggest an age for you to do, then please add a comment below.

Looking for moving helpers

I'm moving - want to help?
Tomorrow, Thursday 7 Feb, noon - 8ish...
Starting at 2502 Jones Rd, unit B, Austin

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Want to help me move 2-3 blocks?
Tomorrow, 7 Feb 2013:
Noon - ??? Packing (boxes or bags appreciated)
4 pm - ??? (Probably 6) move furniture and packages
I can help fund and/or cook a dinner for my helpers, but there may be a week's delay, depending on my finances.
My apologies for such short notice, but I've been in rental limbo/hell...

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Want to help me move 2 or so blocks?
Date: Thursday, 7 Feb '13
Packing starts/continues at noon,
Furniture

I'm moving later this week, to a house a couple of blocks away.
Would any of you be willing to help me move by...
- providing/finding boxes Wednesday day?
- or moving a dresser, a book case, and stuff to go in them on Thursday or Friday day?
Right now, I could offer some home-cooked spaghetti as compensation. If you don't mind waiting two weeks, then I could treat you to a dinner at a sit-down restaurant ...
Please message or call me if you can help - thanks in advance!