Part of me wants to voice concerns about relationships, in general - how we keep finding the same core traits or same difficulties, over and over. Why?
Yet, am I fair commentator, considering my mostly solitary life?
...and then...
Another part of me feels confused and hurt.
I do not like a lot of intolerance that I’m feeling directed at me... yet, it does not feel obvious or direct enough to make me believe it’s real, and not just paranoia on my part.
I want to retreat, to run away, to “obey and be silent” - yet I also want to scream in people’s faces, to demand a conversation... it’s the “minimizing patterns”, the feeling of being made less than -
I want to be quicker on the uptake, to be able to spot a bad behavior, and have the courage to reply, “what you’re doing (or not doing) is really hurting me”. Is that justified?
Do I have a credible collection of “bad behaviors”?
A lot of “I.. I.. I...”. Ironically, I can see the retort, ‘you’re only thinking about yourself...’. Yes, because I’m the only person I have any control over.
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