From an epic battle, to an elven sanctuary, I wonder what fires I need to put out, and then I'm reminded of that song from "The Hobbit", too... dwarves chanting about long-forgotten gold, in a key I can sing in.
Like Leonard Cohen and possibly Pink Floyd - melody in the bass line?
I watched "The Empire Strikes Back" two days ago, and I got a little teary-eyed in places... like Yoda feeling frustrated that Luke can not get his ship out.
Yes, I have a geek streak. I like sci-fi and fantasy, books and movies and music. I like fantastic places that I doubt I'll ever be able to visit in real life. Super-powers? Not so much...
I've hoped, at times, to be able to call the lightning from the sky to zap an annoyance. I've wanted to be able to teleport, to just "get there" already. Oh, and I guess telekinesis and telepathy would be grand traits, too.
Maybe, I'm not so much against the super-powers, as I am against all the fighting in the comics? I'd rather have complex stories with character development, than "Biff! Bam! Pow!" I also want those grayscales between the black and white painting of good and evil.... because the world is gray, more often than not.
Who's to say that life is a series of challenges and set-backs? Sure, cancer survivors give us hope, and landing a career that uses your college education is a good next step.. Yet, life is so much more than I, protagonist, making an uphill climb through the muck of society and the next achievements I strive for. My experience tells me it's so much more like that tangled knot I've seen than the steady uphill climb. I've definitely been distracted by chasing after frayed strings.
Is this where I chime in again, "I never wanted to be voted 'Most Likely to Succeed'!" The cliche clings to me still, that I have been abyssmally failing at life.... that my spoon supply is disintegrating, never to be replenished in the morning. There's the frustration from the dark recesses of my mind, egging me on, telling me to jump
And I spot that self-pity, and I look at those false expectations, and I sigh. I know that parts of my mind turn my critical eye inward. Some times, I need the stick instead of the carrot, to push me out of ennui.
A month into this new job, and I'm already chomping at the bit to get a new job. It would be wise to imagine the job ideal, kind of like the sex ideal - to ask myself, realistically, what are the minimum job requirements for me to thrive instead of just survive. What's a career I'd feel happy retiring in?
Perhaps this is my ongoing challenge gauntlet... to be useful for society, while growing and profiting at the same time.
Now, a nap, to recharge slightly..
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