30 Sept 2019

 my mind has been thinking back on my past romances: "How brief... How did I fail...?" ...and such.

I can see a lot of ways in which I did not rise up to meet the "provider expectation", and also ways that "physical intimacy became almost an obsession"...

the relationships started fairly well, but I don't think they ended well. Part of me thinks we brought expectations in that were quickly left unmet?

it reminds me of others talking about "the rules", or even the memes running around about "how to treat each other in a relationship"... OR the classic, "looking for the One" - it all tries to claim that one set of behaviors is acceptable, making all other behaviors not; and if you're (imperfect) partner does not measure up to that golden standard, then they should be dumped in a heartbeat.

In similar ways, it's like the standards we hold our political candidates to... we're expecting everyone to be Supermen, and no one to have flaws or missteps in their future. If we mess up, we get kicked to the curb, in the hopes that someone better comes along... instead of trying to work with each other to try to figure out how to improve in the future.

(I realize this is is kind of vague. I do not want to specify people and times and events, hopefully to protect my past partners/friends. I do not claim that I am perfect (by no means..) )

I really just want to question this "search for the Superman" that we seem to feed ourselves; or, if you will, the "insistence on perfection"...

Now.. I do realize that some people have been badly hurt in past relationships (myself included) and would rather avoid repeating those experiences. Yet, even there, I question if avoidance is the best policy, in ALL cases....

2Tammy Curry and 1 other