I am acutely aware of how alone I feel, at this moment...
...and I can't easily imagine anyone I want to interact with, to try to counteract it. (I guess I'm retreating, and talking to Facebook, en masse.)
There's this underlying fear that people will dismiss me as imagining the whole situation - me, getting a gaslighting response. There's another fear that I will be chastised for not taking more opportunities to reach out to others. There's this hurt pride underneath, telling me, "Maybe you aren't esteemed enough by others to warrant their attention."
Maybe, I really am uninteresting, unentertaining, and all around boring.
at which point, I think, "I just need to disconnect from online communities, for a bit. I should get back to cleaning up my room."
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