i have a lot of my anxiety in my life - some of my own making, some due to the actions of others. it can lead to destructive thinking, including suicidal ideations, money mis-management, and addictive patterns in the activities i pursue.
i know i've written on this, here, in the past. i don't know if there's an easy solution, like a medicine i can take or a therapy format that i can use - i believe holistic approaches work better.
if i could just dismiss the destructive thoughts, it would be great. yet, based on experience, they seem to return, again and again. i'm worried that one day, i'll fully succumb to them, in a fit of irrationality; especially since i've already attempted suicide back in 1998, when under similar circumstances.
i doubt this note will be received well, by everyone. mostly, i write it to try to prevent the behaviors and thoughts from gaining a stronger foothold in my mind.
i'm off to sleep, now, hoping for a good rest. may the morning find both you and i doing well...
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