29 March 2020

 'm just passively soaking up various stimuli,

Not even trying to assign words or meaning:

- Tutoring a couple of students, around the country, online;

- The room mate(s) have been binge watching Game of Thrones;

- There's probably two weeks of food, but not much variety?

(my, how I miss a rainbow meal of fresh fruits and veggies)

- Zooming AA meetings online - (it's neat, but feels hollow?)

- So much eating, so much sleeping...

- and a plethora of turn-based games, played on board game arena

Yet, with large chunks of time to juggle,

I find myself... procrastinating...

I don't want to sift through old papers and old mails.

I don't want to suggest test revisions.

I don't want to finish postering my walls.

I don't want to physical stretches and exercises, at home.

I don't want to learn the LaTex formatting language, for neat math.

Actually, there's some degree of me that does want to do all of that, and much more (like calling friends on the phone)... but the spectre of fear still lurks in the shadows, I suppose? Like most of the delay is because I'm prioritizing other things poorly. The fear is there that my income is once again less than my expenses, so I'm scrambling with online tutoring; and I'm buying the rainbow at the grocery store... (and also, it's easy to wear myself out, with such a plethora of mental activities)

Perhaps I'm in passive reception mode, because my brain shut off after hours of games and tutoring? Or, maybe physical health is not so great...

In any case, I think I'm surviving the Covid-19 Quarantine. I just wish there were more phone calls being made (both from me and to me)...