I'm starting to reach out, because self-sufficiency has been failing me. My conversation skills are a mixed bag - I tend to just fade into the background in groups. All the while, paranoia lurks in the corners of my mind...?
Fuck. Talking to a vacuum... talking to myself... not sure if that can work out a solution to the things blocking my life. Also, not sure if chasing some phantasm of the American Dream would ease my difficulties or increase them.
Why can't I be a follower, and talk about the Basketball finals, or whichever celebrity is in the spotlight, or whatever media is the next big story? I could try, but all that following takes up time... and time is so much more mercurial than wealth...
Probably just trying to talk myself to sleep, right now. Not even attempting to make a reasoned argument, or a story with a plot or a moral. Just want the fears to be lessened... (I first typed "lessoned" - like fear can be taught anything?)
Good night, all. Sleep well, when you sleep, and may you wake invigorating Earth Day activities...
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