I still feel like my mind's lost in a wasteland.
Even though a couple of people have called, even though I've hung out with the house mates, Even though I went to a couple of AA meetings...
It's little cuts that add up to bleeding out.
Do I list them all, and offend people for calling them out? That's the reaction that's happened in the past.
Do I tune them out, with radio and youtube and other distractions? It's ok while it's going on, but then I try to fall asleep. Still, the radio can help with sleep - if it's the right mix of songs...
If I get around people, virtually or in person, my mood picks up; yet if I'm back by myself - the chaos commences.
Then, there's thinking I'm behaving and doing things right, and I'm not getting a cookie (a reward)... Like, I try to do right and the world's falling apart around us ...and nobody ever wanted to be right, to begin with?
[ yay, vague post.]
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it could be that I'm just in a lot of physical body pain, and my mind doesn't like it.
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