9 July 2020

 When sharing, and trying to connect with my personal experience, I'm almost left feeling that my real-world examples were inadequate.

That applies in talking on social issues, even on some of my discussion about my struggles with the bipolar mental illness and with alcoholism. Even trying to relate a humorous story form my past: Flop!

I do not know if writing stuff out works better for me - it helps me organize, as I write, a little bit better - yeah. It's hard to organize my speech in mid-speech. Regarding organization, it has helped me in the past to write down short outlines before speaking - partly to clear my brain so I can better to hear what someone else is saying, but also to have a visual aid, to keep me on track.

There is some fear, though, when I put writings into the public - just because of the record it creates, and that those writings need to stand alone on their own weight. They simply can not be defended from all questioning uncertainties when others stumble upon them.

My reaction, if I'm trying to fight uncertainty, is to write more explanation. Those longer posts probably get overlooked - or, at least, uncommented, because everyone values their time, and don't want to be tied up in a reply that lasts hours. Unfortunately, that does not translate well into group conversations, also because of everyone's processing abilities and time concerns.

I've often felt like other speakers take more than their fair share of conversation time - which is probably more of a fear that I'm not getting complete idea across. What's relevant? What's irrelevant? Where are the connections that link what was last said to what's being said? I actually quite enjoy Robert's Rules of Order and other moderation, because they can keep people focused on what's being discussed.

Maybe: Conversing is for the bullets, while writing is for the proofs?

It would be nice to have a well-connected network of ideas with good logical connections with which we can explain the past and predict the future! "Ah, Science!" Yet, I still think there's quite a lot of hidden information in our past, and quite a few false connections that we try to create. Simple models are nice, yes, but not every situation is a simple system...

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Ok, I've tried to spin out some ideas, there. Now, I'll try to compact it into a short poem, perhaps, in the comments?