I've been in anxiety so long that I've lost sight of serenity...
Worrying over finances and romances, ever since I was a teen. Then, when one or the other is working out, I over-indulge.
I can imagine people chiding me, "When did you place your happiness on money or people?" Well, probably when the American dream slipped out of reach for us in the middle class (lower class, in my case)...
Also...
- this is not about having three fancy sports cars, it's about having a functional car.
- it's not about eating at high-dollar restaurants, it's about having food in the fridge.
- it's not about having five girlfriends, it's about having girls who are good friends.
I'm not striving to be a Trump, I'm struggling to survive... and, after years of being sick of and from this rat race, the anxiety pulls me under like a rip tide, making it so much harder to strive to survive, let alone thrive.
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