6 June 2020

 y mind drifts to story telling...:

"One Christmas break, during college, early 90's, I went up to D/FW and stayed with my mom for the holidays. She was working a side job, at the Lewisville mall, in one of the kiosks, selling animal-shaped Fuzzy Feet; and she was able to convince the kiosk manager to hire me on as holiday help. I actually ended up getting a fun set of Moosehead slippers; that I would wear out over the next 10 years.

One day, the manager was making deliveries to the other mall kiosks across D/FW, and she acquired me in the morning as help, at the start of the day. We went to the warehouse, loaded up the delivery van close to the ceiling of the back of the van, and buckled in up front.

At which point, this manager was frustrated because she couldn't see through her windshield's rear view mirror. I pointed out the side-mounted rear view mirrors. She said, "Oh, Neat!" We adjusted them, and made the various deliveries.

Now, that evening, I tell my mom this little episode, beasically as, "Here's how my day went..." ...and then I watched as the story got retold and retold, with a little more embellishment each time at various holiday gatherings, over the next week."

-----------------

So, that's my perspective on one "innocent story" as it got told and retold. Even then, I'm not telling all the finer details. However, surely there must be a point for relaying it..?

I originally wanted to start this post as a critique of saying too little and saying too much. I've heard conflicting mottos over the years over when we need to speak up and speak out; and when we need to be quiet. Stuff like, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and "Those who are silent help the oppressors"

Yes, various slogans and life philosophies have appropriate times and places. "Too many cooks spoil the broth" could be turned into "If everyone's speaking, then nobody's listening"

In the absence of clear leadership, we get chaos akin to the Tower of Babel. In the presence of too charismatic leadership, we get cult behavior and the cult of personality.

I don't claim to be a great speaker, or a great story teller, even. I usually get my facts mixed up, or I get performance anxiety. ...but that could just be me trying to pretend to be humble, or even stuck in self-pity.

I do not claim that this post will change much in the way others speak or listen.

The insinuation underneath what we don't say seems to me to be a way of finding people who are paying attention to the same things we are - that's a lot of memes in a nutshell.

The dangers of speaking too much is that you start getting ignored, when others have differences of opinion and believe that they have not had an opportunity to voice them.

I do not offer a cookie cutter solution that makes everyone happy. I stand puzzled and conflicted, wondering "Did I say too much? Did I say too little?" "Was I supposed to conceal my heart, or wear it on my sleeve, today?" Even the classic, "What's the best way to show my interest in ___________?"

I do believe that the Peace Prayer of St. Francis says volumes about how to interact with others. I also believe that "The Four Agreements" are a nice middle ground.

I realize that this is unattached to any one post, so people might be wondering who I'm replying to... and that's kind of how the seed got started.