How can I tell that I may be depressed?
I feel so sluggish, I just want to stay in bed, I'm not eating a lot...
I can't find the motivation to write, to explore, to do stuff...
It's weird. It's not like I have a perfect mood meter in my brain - partly because I'm trying to take a measure of my brain with my brain. So, when I'm depressed, I'm not always in a foul mood, or wishing to die, or having a pity party - I'm just having a hard time piecing ideas together, and following through on plans. My brain is just not operating as fast as when I'm normal.
Now, when I'm manic.. whoo.. it becomes hard to stay focused on one train of thoughts, because others keep trying to jump up in their place. Also, because my brain feels so alive, I do get excited, but I also can get irritable.
At either extreme, I can easily lose focus, which can make me ineffective in getting things done. Also, the swings are not really tied to external events, like my job or my relationships or the weather - the swings just happen. Now, I do think good or bad events in my life CAN impact the severity of the swings...
In any case, I've been feeling depressed, in the bipolar fashion. I'm just not getting stuff done, because I keep feeling like I'm running out of time. I just want to stay in bed, because I feel exhausted.
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