Who am I writing for? Myself, mostly, collecting my thoughts.
Why am I writing? Honestly? ..'cause I'm tapped out in the games here, not wanting to do "work", waiting for the laundry to finish..
So, I must remember to "tread lightly, in honor of my father's wishes". By that, I mean...? I can't just bare all, and dig up some "questionable" parts of my past, as there are people on here, who would not understand or, worse yet, use the information to judge and/or do harm. So, pardon me, if this seems more theory than reality, for there's some self-censoring that's likely to happen...
There are times, when someone's trying to start a 'viral' update - you know, "post this as your status if you agree", where I'm like, "Yeah, I agree, but I'm not too sure I want to make that public information yet..." I suspect the hesitation is a little fear-based, and rooted in not wanting to defend the particular cause, which that, in turn, may be grounded in not knowing all the facts to make a convincing argument? Another way of saying that could be that I'm hesitant to say something that may anger others if I don't know how to defuse that anger?
!
eh. whatever. sounds like the seeds of an inventory...
OK.. so, what DO I want to write about?
oh! hey! the washer's done! oh! hey! I'm getting comments on an update. be right back... ;)
"Well, I'd like a girlfriend.." 'Really? What can you offer her?' "Ummm..."
I may not be dressed in the finest clothes, and I'm a little overweight - definitely not one for physical exercise, and I don't have my own house or car or high-paying job... at times, I think I live like a monk. When I've had girl friends in the past, this 'forced spartan lifestyle' has caused me lots of stress, because I'd like to be able to be a 'provider'.
I also don't go out of my way to "make people laugh" (if you've ever been on a dating site, you'd certainly recognize how that seems to be a common theme in the ladies' profiles) - although, I do have a kind of wicked sense of humor. As some examples, I would cite my chip commentaries, my notorious Christmas and birthday cards, and my high school graduation speech. I suspect my humor draws on British comedies, Robin Williams, George Carlin, and Bill Cosby... and far too many joke books read as a teen. ..still, I don't like to poke fun when I see that could be harmful to others. If it's harmful to myself...?
I'm fairly honest, and fairly loyal. I try not to keep my own secrets, as I find, doing so, usually generates undue stress from living the double life. On the other hand, I try to honor the secrets shared with me, as I think gossip is so petty. Also, if a friend reveals something private, then they should be the ones who decide who gets to be privy, no?
I don't claim to have a wide array of knowledge at my fingertips, and that's partly by choice. After all, it takes time and energy to learn new fields, and, if I have my hands 'dipped in too many honey pots', then I'm likely to be susceptible to Information Anxiety (great book by Richard Saul Wurman.. I think?).. So, I'm not subscribed to magazines, right now, as it's hard to find the time to read them; and I don't sit for hours tracking TV programs (I might allow myself "The Simpsons" or educational TV once in a blue moon), and I don't go out every night to see bands. I do like to catch movies, but that can be an expensive habit, if I'm relying on the movie theatres. On the other hand, I like to read, and, often, have several books on my person at any given time - especially useful when riding the bus.
With facebook? It's useful as a game engine. There's periods when I'll catch up on what my real life friends are up to. ..and, every once in a while, I'll check out posted videos. I suspect it's mostly an entertainment outlet for me. Oh, and, there's times that I'll post, too..
I suppose a more telling breakdown of "what do I know" would be a survey of information that's in my brain. I'm fair in the sciences, fairly adept in mathematics, a smattering of information on religion and mythology and such.. I have a wide array of musical and film experiences. I also know some about psychology, partly because I've had to deal with it on a personal basis (this would be one of those "touchy areas" mentioned earlier in this post). I don't think of myself as very literary, or historical, or just plain versed in many of the liberal arts.
*sigh* waiting on the dryer to finish, not sure if I'm just starting to spin my wheels..
I don't like to get too "political". I think, underneath that, is that I don't like to tell other people how to run their lives, and I especially don't like to be told how to run mine. So, getting back to those 'viral wannabe updates', I find most of them tend to be political at some level. If I'm trying to convince you that I support such-and-such... well, I'd like a little more than 400 odd text characters to do it in, you know? So, I guess my complaint on those is not that they're inaccurate statements - it's just that they're such a small part of a bigger idea?
Like, I "support our troops" because I believe the government does help people improve their lives through a collective effort, and that there needs to be some defense against hostile groups - on the other hand, I don't agree with some of the actions that our government imposes upon our troops. Probably underneath it, is that I have friends who have benefited from their military careers, and I even considered one, myself. I also think that the military and the police and government all tie back into "how do we maintain a civilized society?"
but, wait! is that a contradiction? On the one hand, I have a laissez-faire attitude, but then I come back around and say we need to enforce the law? It's the degree of control that's in question. Some where, there's this middle ground between too few rules and too many rules that I'd like to shoot for. Like, I might not like other people telling me how to do stuff, but I do rely on others' experience to shape my decisions - and I think government and religion both have a significant weight of past experience to draw upon...
Surprised the dryer isn't done yet - think I'll go check on it...
Oh. I mentioned religion.. yeeessss... If you look at my profile here, I claim to be a mutt: some Catholic, some Buddhist, a little pantheist. What do I mean by that? Basically, I see value in ideas coming from several sources. I also have a hard time stomaching some of the other ideas from those same sources. I don't know if I want to convince you of my conception of God, probably because I don't have a perfect understanding of that conception, yet. I doubt I ever will. I do have a fairly well-defined code of morals, which draws heavily from the Catholics, but which also seems to mirrored in the Buddhist precepts. I don't believe in an after-life, or past lives, as I have yet to see convincing evidence to that effect. To me, religion provides a society of similar-minded people, and a set of life practices that help bring about some contentment with life.
I feel like I'm stepping on some shaky ground. I can see how religion helps one realize they are but a small part of a greater whole... but I'm still very hesitant to say there's any one right religion or one right conception of the universe, if I were to be so lofty..
Western society has its roots in Greco-Roman civilization, and that turn is highly connected to the Greek philosophers. There's a theme there, that the world is dualistic in nature - either an idea is true, or it is false. So, much of the past theories about the world rely on that black-and-white thinking. (This could also be tied back to the Judeo-Christian conceptions of Good and Evil, and monotheism?) I would argue, in the last century, this belief has become challenged by new discoveries, such as in quantum physics and Godel's Incompleteness Theorem. So, the Zen Koans of oriental philosophy become much more relevant, as they are non-dualistic in their very nature.
Ok.. dryer's done. Off to bed now. Before I leave, I am going to cite an influential book from my past that picks up from where I'm stopping. Check out "Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid" by Douglas Hofstadter. Alternatively, you could read his book "Metamagical Themas" which is a great collection he published through Scientific American.
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