First defense: scream and wail on Facebook...
...but does that work, really? ...or just seed dissent and disdain?
I don’t think it fixes the underlying problems, in the long run. Talk is cheap; and it doesn’t put food in the pantry (yet I know that’s a half-lie from past experiences)...
Yet I want to scream and yell, not so much to get the food; but to vent my frustration at the pickle of a situation - promises turned sour, life turning into “A Bell Jar”.
Then again, I may be screaming, for distraction, to push back the dire thoughts crowding in, to pull my focus away because I do not like thinking “that way”
I scream because I want to survive until tonight. I scream because I don’t want to let my mind fester in it’s terrible solutions. I scream because I want help (especially when I feel that help betrayed me)
So, I scream now.
Then, I’ll put my clothes in the dryer, see what I can cobble together for a pitiful lunch, and then I’ll get on the computer to see what I can apply for while the clothes dry.
Yet, I know that my mind will be screaming still.
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