I’m caught up in a pity party.
I do not want a participation reward, though. I want genuine solutions that bring with them “peace of mind”.
Yet, I also fear going through “catastrophic upheavals” in order to achieve those solutions...
What can I do, within my sphere of influence, to create lasting changes that minimize fear and anxiety in my life?
Some have suggested leaving Austin; but that feels catastrophic... there’s no safe landing place in sight, see? ...no sanctuary that I can trust with confidence...
Others suggest getting better employment. Fair. Yet, it takes convincing to get employers to hire you - especially well-paying employers.
Similarly, finding a life partner seems tricky. Do I have to change my personality to some model(s) paraded in the media, in order to better fit the picture that prospective partners hold in their mind(s) of “the One”...? Do I have to cater to your expectations of how I should behave and how I react to your behaviors?
There’s reducing expenses by various means, like getting on welfare programs or using food banks. I try to do this. Honestly, I feel like I’ve reduced all optional expenses away - and there’s still too much to pay for...
(Ah, joy. Text wall. Sorry, y’all...)
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